Monday, 30 March 2015

Why it’s okay to be a woman and not want kids

I have a dream. I dream of a society where women are not under pressure to have babies and become mothers. I dream of a life where some dim-witted worm doesn’t ask me annoying questions like “So when are you planning of having babies?” followed by a shock-horror stare as they replay my answer – Never,  I don’t plan on having a baby, at all, like no plans, no plans whatsoever of having one, like ever.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love kids. In fact I work in children’s shoe shop and previously worked as a teacher assistant. Also two of my friends have babies. So I am always surrounded by children. And yeah kids love me too, I know how to talk and play with them and keep them entertained (yeah yeah, I’m still a kid at heart). But all this doesn’t mean I am cut out for motherhood. Sure I am only twenty-four and sure I might change my mind in years to come.  But maybe I wouldn’t. And that is okay! It is okay to not want children. Not every woman is cut out to be a mother.

Feminism is all about choice. And choosing not to have children is my personal choice. So why does my choice to remain child-free make me less of a woman? Why is motherhood linked to femininity? Are you telling me if I don’t have a kid, I am not fulfilling my true potential as a woman? Does it make me a selfish person if I choose the idea of having a career over kids? Why do people think they have the right to make me feel bad for my lack of maternal instinct?

I have a huge respect for exceptional parents as they deserve a heck of a praise for their hard work. Because parenting is hard work, it requires selfishness and sacrifices. Heck, I be the first to say it – I am selfish. I love my freedom. I love my independence. And I have dreams. I dream of a good job and a good life of travelling, I dream of a life where I can casually pack a bag and escape for the weekend without a second thought. Kids change everything! And they are there, like all the time! Eek! No thanks, not my cup of tea. (However if you need a good babysitter, look no further!)

So ladies, the decision to have kids or not is yours and only yours (and your partners obviously). So don’t let society make you feel bad because you don’t “have it all”. “Having it all” doesn’t even exist! It’s another ploy created by the media to make women feel bad. It’s your own personal choice! If you want children, awesome! If you don’t want children, that’s awesome too! 

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