Keep the change

Go ahead bold one
go ahead
give me the closure I deserve
have your way with words
quote me a quote
paint me a picture
I have no more weapon for this heartbreak warfare of ours.

Nostalgia is a liar
she's keep telling me you were beautiful
I remember now
You were indeed very beautiful
oh how your precious ways killed me
did I make you up inside my head?

Enough
Stop
Stop apologising
I want to rip and tore you from my fondest memories
I want to scream and shout til your ghost stops lingering in my bedroom.

I hated the way you always tripped over your self esteem
buy new shoes
lace it up
tuck it in
but don't call me a liar for calling you beautiful!

Let them talk
they don't know me
do they even know you?
did I know you?
who are you?
who are you when the door is locked?

my words were harsh
my words were cruel
my words were brutal
so go ahead beautiful one
go ahead
hurt me like I did you
tell them my secrets
the ones I told you in the dark
but don't run and hide
we both know you are not as innocent
we both know you use your kindness as an easy way out
so be cruel to be kind my dear
be cruel to be kind

enough
stop
stop apologising
tell me the truth
did I shallow my pride just so you can think
of me as the toxic madness?
did I paint you with an aching glory
just so you can hide behind your army?
did I craft you into my words just so
you can degrade my affection?

what are you waiting for?
has the cat got your tongue?
tell me
do you still remember the colour of my eyes?
or did you block that out too?
remember how I was
so shy
so nervous
so weak
to look into yours?
dare to be brave and look into my eyes now
I dare you my precious one
I dare you

Oh no no no
didn't they tell you
you can't be a self aware person
without paying the price
so go ahead
pay your bill
but don't forget to leave a tip.